I have a confession, folks: I disagree with you.
I usually don’t get too personal here. This is new for me in this blog. I try to keep my messages palatable for every kind of person. Raising awareness about mental health, and in particular as it pertains to the most vulnerable people, is a message for everyone. I don’t want to alienate anybody who might need to read my blog.
But tonight I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, and I’m am filled with urgency and grief that pulls me to risk controversy. I may not be who you think I am. I may not be be as much like you as you’ve tried to believe. So I want to tell you some of the things I’m careful not to say, lest I offend you or turn you off this blog.
I have some pretty radical beliefs. apparently. Because as I read your words on social media, they couldn’t be farther from the truth as I experience it.
I believe that every single person deserves compassion
I believe that everyone needs to feel respected- as a human being
I believe that hate is wrong
I believe that hating someone for their political beliefs is hate, and is therefore wrong
I believe that all true religions teach love, and love is right
I believe that loving people who don’t believe what you believe is right
I believe that love is right and hate is wrong
I believe that vulnerable people- children, the poor, the mentally ill, and the marginalized- need our love and compassion and respect most of all
I believe that religions teach us this, if we are willing to listen
I believe that pointing fingers and issuing blame is a form of hate, and hate is wrong
I believe that listening and caring, even when what you hear is scary or unsettling or not what you want to hear, is love, and love is right
I believe that being a physician is a calling and an act of love for others and that is why I do it
I believe that we hurt each other too much when love and compassion would be the better route
I believe that we have succumbed to hate as a country
I believe our children and the most vulnerable among us have been poisoned by this hate
I believe we can heal families and we can heal this country together, with love
I believe that our mental health and our children’s mental health are affected by our healing or lack thereof as communities
I believe it our our responsibility and our obligation and our duty to each other and our children and the vulnerable to find our way back to love
I believe this is urgent now
I believe we should love the marginalized, and we should also love the neighbor who is gay or transgender or whose politics we find abhorrent
I believe these things, and I hope you can embrace them for the good of all of us
I’m exhausted of your hate for each other
I hope you’ll choose love instead
- Sep 16, 2019 Psychiatry Needs More Walk-In Services
- Sep 2, 2019 Adolescence Is A Second Chance for Brain Development
- Jun 24, 2019 What is Intervention for Addiction or Mental Illness?
- Jun 17, 2019 When You Love Someone Who Needs Help and You Don't Know What to Do
- Jun 10, 2019 Finding Help in a Broken Mental Health Care System
- Jun 3, 2019 Mental Disorders, Addictions, and Insight: “There’s nothing wrong with me!”
- May 27, 2019 #Deprescribing Psych Meds
- May 6, 2019 To End A Conflict, Don’t Argue More Passionately. Yield
- Apr 29, 2019 What's Wrong With My Teenage Daughter?
- Apr 22, 2019 A Mindful Monday Mood
- Apr 15, 2019 Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder (Among Others) Get Worse When They Aren't Treated Early
- Apr 8, 2019 3 Quick Ways to Cope When Stress is High
- Apr 1, 2019 Social Media Is Making You Unhappy
- Mar 25, 2019 It's Up to Me to Change Things
- Mar 18, 2019 Getting Help for Someone You Love Shouldn’t Be This Hard
- Mar 11, 2019 Down Into Mindless Parenting
- Mar 4, 2019 7 Steps to a Rotten Spring Break
- Feb 25, 2019 Our Teens Have Everything And Nothing
- Feb 18, 2019 Dear Friends, This Is What I Really Think When I Read Your Political Post
- Feb 11, 2019 8 Steps to Getting Help for Someone
- Feb 4, 2019 The Dying Art of Diagnosis: The Failure of the Magic Checklist in Psychiatry
- Jan 21, 2019 Courage
- Jan 14, 2019 Getting Back On The College Horse After Depression
- Jan 7, 2019 Resolving to Go Back
- Dec 17, 2018 Let’s Talk About Bipolar Disorder
- Dec 10, 2018 I Don’t Have to Teach My Daughter to Be Kind.
- Dec 3, 2018 What If You're the One Who Needs to Change?
- Nov 26, 2018 Grade Failures Roll in This Time of Year, and Parents Need to Get a Grip
- Nov 19, 2018 Planning Your Holiday: Which Is Preferable? Conflict or Loneliness?
- Nov 12, 2018 A Moment For #Mindfulness
- Nov 5, 2018 Burned Out, Exhausted Students Need Parent Support This Holiday
- Oct 29, 2018 “Us” and “Them” - Can We Talk Without Being Enemies?
- Oct 22, 2018 Start Your Week With #Mindfulness
- Oct 15, 2018 Doubting the Diagnosis
- Oct 8, 2018 Child Abuse Awareness Is Mental Health Awareness. Child Abuse Prevention Is Mental Health Prevention
- Oct 1, 2018 Your Joke About People Being "Triggered" Isn't Funny
- Sep 24, 2018 Screen Time Is Not As Relaxing As We Like To Think
- Sep 17, 2018 Myths Doctors (and Nurses) Still Believe About Suicide
- Sep 10, 2018 5 Things Every Child With A Depressed Parent Understands - by Guest Ally Golden
- Sep 3, 2018 GAPS in the Mental Health Care System
- Aug 27, 2018 Stop and Smell the Roses: Everyday Mindfulness
- Aug 13, 2018 Mean Behind a Screen
- Aug 6, 2018 Dissatisfied Customer: When You Take Your Loved One to a Mental Health Provider, You May Not Get What You Want
- Jul 23, 2018 9 Ways You Can Reduce Mental Health Stigma and Discrimination
- Jul 16, 2018 Substance Use and Mental Illness: The Chicken and the Egg?
- Jul 9, 2018 Summer Camp: A Little Independence Away from Over-Supervised Childhood
- Jul 2, 2018 It Seems Half Of Young People In Their 20’s Are Labeled With (Or Label Themselves With) A Mental Disorder. How Did We Get Here?
- Jun 25, 2018 Mental Health Symptoms May Spark from Neurobiology in The Brain, But That’s Never the Whole Story
- Jun 11, 2018 Responsible Reporting of Suicide Saves Lives
- May 28, 2018 #MemorialDay #ThankYou
- May 21, 2018 Growing Up in the Era of School Shootings
- May 14, 2018 A Mental Health Tragedy Unfolds and the System Doesn’t Have an Answer
- May 7, 2018 The Smartphones Have Taken Our Teens
- Apr 30, 2018 College Parenting on Summer Break
- Apr 23, 2018 Is It Useful To Ground A Twenty-Year-Old?
- Apr 16, 2018 The Questions Everybody Wants To Ask About Mental Health Urgent Care Clinic
- Apr 9, 2018 Q & A with Dr. D
- Apr 2, 2018 “Why Must My Daughter Go Against Everything I’ve Taught Her?”
- Mar 26, 2018 The Gut-Brain and Young Adult Depression
- Mar 5, 2018 Hiding Vulnerabilities and Imperfections
- Feb 26, 2018 Helping Someone Who Doesn’t Want Help
- Feb 19, 2018 Oh, the Things Teens Can Teach Us: Laughing at Trolls
- Feb 12, 2018 To the 21-Year-Old Living at Home with Controlling Parents
- Feb 5, 2018 Lies Your Chronic Illness Tells You
- Jan 28, 2018 “OMG, She Is So Bipolar!” There's a Better Way to Say It
- Jan 22, 2018 By Michelle Mata, Guest: The Journey to Recovery
- Jan 15, 2018 Advocacy, Integrity, and MLKDay on My Anniversary
- Jan 8, 2018 Lost at Sea: Mental Health Crisis in the Young Adult Years
- Jan 1, 2018 For a Happier 2018, Change Just One Thing: Your Expectations
- Dec 18, 2017 After Mental Health Crisis, Well-Being Is Possible Again, But It’s Probably Not Going To Come From A Prescription Pill
- Dec 11, 2017 When Our Kids Fail
- Dec 4, 2017 Cousins Getting Along in the Holidays-- 8 Reminders for Kids
- Nov 27, 2017 Mental Health in the Holidays
- Nov 20, 2017 This Thanksgiving, Be Mindful
- Nov 13, 2017 “He just stays up in his room watching Netflix. Is that depression?”
- Oct 30, 2017 #MentalHealthAwareness is Great, But Where’s the Help?
- Oct 23, 2017 9 Tough Conversations Parents Need to Initiate
- Oct 16, 2017 Have Parenting Practices Become “Too Good” for the Good of Our Kids?
- Oct 9, 2017 Why Meds Aren’t Enough
- Oct 2, 2017 3 Questions to Ask if Your Child Is Having a Rough Start This Semester
- Sep 25, 2017 Doctor, I Know You’re Rushed, But Patients Need Reassurance
- Sep 18, 2017 5 Reasons You Need Psychosocial Rehab After a Mental Health Crisis
- Sep 11, 2017 Is It Possible To Advocate For More Mental Healthcare And Less At The Same Time?
- Sep 4, 2017 8 Normal Behaviors That Mimic Mental Health Symptoms
- Aug 28, 2017 Does Advice on “Finding Joy” Help or Harm People with Depression?
- Aug 21, 2017 Can the Solar Eclipse Bring Us Hope for Transformational Change?
- Aug 14, 2017 Families Belong on the #MentalHealthCare Treatment Team!
- Aug 7, 2017 Questions You May Have Always Wanted to Ask A Psychiatrist
- Jul 31, 2017 Grit and Mental Wellness
- Jul 24, 2017 12 Reasons Parents Are Worried About Their 20-Something Kids
- Jul 17, 2017 8 Things Every 20 Year Old Needs to Know
- Jul 10, 2017 8 Things Teens Need to Learn by 16/Driving Age
- Jul 3, 2017 8 Things Kids Need to Master By Age 13
- Jun 12, 2017 Parents: Start Off Summer Right (And Then Relax)
- May 29, 2017 Get Some Memorial Day Quiet Time
- May 22, 2017 Adult-Child Returning Home This Summer? Make Sure You Have a Plan
- May 15, 2017 #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth
- May 8, 2017 The Month of May is Stressful. 12 Ways to Cope:
- May 1, 2017 Adolescence: A Built in Second Chance for the Brain
- Apr 24, 2017 Why I Want to Hear From Your Mom
- Apr 17, 2017 Cyberbullying: Not Your Dad’s Schoolyard Fisticuffs
- Apr 10, 2017 The Secrets Inside Someone Else’s House
- Mar 27, 2017 Yes, Antidepressants Work Differently in Teen Brains
- Mar 20, 2017 Casting Light
- Mar 13, 2017 Gratitude
- Mar 6, 2017 FAQ’s: Mental Health Urgent Care
- Feb 27, 2017 10 Reasons to Stay Out of the Psychiatrist’s Office
- Feb 20, 2017 When Mom or Dad Has a Mental Illness
- Feb 13, 2017 When An Adult Child is Diagnosed With Mental Illness: A Parent’s Role
- Feb 6, 2017 Depression is Bio-Psycho-Social-Spiritual
- Jan 30, 2017 Teens in High School, and Keeping It Together, Mama
- Jan 23, 2017 What Do We Believe About Each Other?
- Jan 16, 2017 “Hey, Doc! You Support My Stance on Marijuana, Don’t You?”
- Jan 9, 2017 An Expert in Teen Mental Health (Until I Walk In the Door At Home)
- Jan 2, 2017 I’m So Depressed (No, You’re Not.)
- Dec 19, 2016 Stigma Within the Healthcare System
- Dec 12, 2016 Today My Son Stood Up
- Dec 12, 2016 Cracks in the Dam of Mental Health Care
- Dec 5, 2016 Stepping in When Your Teen is Cyberbullied
- Nov 28, 2016 Let’s Revisit Giving Thanks
- Nov 14, 2016 America: The Kids Are Listening
- Oct 31, 2016 I Voted 2016
- Oct 24, 2016 The October Crisis
- Oct 17, 2016 In Case of Psychiatric Emergency
- Oct 10, 2016 Reacting Like a Wild Beast
- Sep 26, 2016 Doctor Mama: School’s Back Self-Care
- Sep 19, 2016 Too Much Parenting
- Sep 12, 2016 A Generation Unprepared
- Sep 5, 2016 A Plan for Living Mindfully
- Aug 22, 2016 Grief Is a Skill
- Aug 15, 2016 From Summer to School for Behavioral Special Needs (and Everyone)
- Aug 8, 2016 Psychiatric Care Is Impossible to Find. Urgent Care Clinics Provide the Solution
- Aug 1, 2016 8 Things Your Teen Cares More About Than School and Why They Matter
- Jul 25, 2016 What I Learned About Pokémon Go On Vacation With My Kids
- Jul 11, 2016 #BlackLivesMatter #DallasPoliceShooting What Do We Say to Our Kids?
- Jul 4, 2016 What It Means to Be Assertive
- Jun 27, 2016 Getting Stuck in the Sick Role
- Jun 20, 2016 Shouldn’t We Celebrate Dads With a Little More Enthusiasm?
- Jun 13, 2016 Incapable Adults
- Jun 6, 2016 A Blog Post For My Daughter
- May 30, 2016 Parenting Through the Lens of a Troubled Childhood
- May 23, 2016 You Do You and I’ll Do Me
- May 16, 2016 My Kid Looks Depressed. What Do I Do?
- May 9, 2016 Mothering Isn’t Just for Mothers
- May 2, 2016 Adult Skills
- Apr 25, 2016 Mental Health First Responders: Parents and Schools
- Apr 18, 2016 What You Don’t Know About Cyberbullying Could Hurt Your Kids
- Apr 11, 2016 Without a Successful Adolescence, Adults Don’t Fly
- Apr 4, 2016 10 Things Teens Won’t Learn In School That They Need to Hear at Home
- Mar 28, 2016 Dear Lost 20 Year Old (And His Parents),
- Mar 21, 2016 Alone Time
- Mar 7, 2016 8 Reasons I Won't Pressure My Kids About College
- Feb 29, 2016 Let Teens Climb
- Feb 15, 2016 Bouncing Back Home
- Feb 8, 2016 The Change Teens Need In the Mental Health System
- Jan 25, 2016 Can Mindfulness Reduce Social Anxiety?
- Jan 18, 2016 A Letter to My Children on MLK Day
- Jan 11, 2016 Who Am I? When Mental Illness Shapes Identity
- Jan 4, 2016 8 Simple Ways to Improve Your Health & Well-Being
- Dec 21, 2015 10 Reasons to Be Grateful This Holiday
- Dec 14, 2015 The New Drug Epidemic: “Legal” Addictions
- Dec 7, 2015 The Risks of the Wrong Medication
- Nov 30, 2015 Kids Aren't Mirror Images of Parents
- Nov 23, 2015 Is Thanksgiving a Celebration of Binge Eating?
- Nov 16, 2015 My Holiday Break To Do List
- Nov 9, 2015 Wow! I Feel Better When I Do That!
- Nov 2, 2015 On Raising Confident, Strong Daughters
- Oct 26, 2015 Bullying?
- Oct 19, 2015 To All the Kids in Middle School:
- Oct 12, 2015 Want A Teen to Talk?
- Oct 5, 2015 Does Psychiatry Really Have the Answers for Large-Scale Shootings?
- Sep 28, 2015 Signs You’re Neglecting Basic Self-Care
- Sep 21, 2015 7 Things Worth Accepting
- Sep 14, 2015 10 Reasons Depression Is Different For a First Year College Student
- Sep 7, 2015 Tackle Avoidance in 10 Steps
- Aug 31, 2015 Safety Patrol Parenting
- Aug 24, 2015 When the Pace Gets Hectic, Reduce Stress
- Aug 17, 2015 Why Bother? When You Just Don’t Want To
- Jul 27, 2015 Parents and Kids Can Mindfully Unwind Together
- Jul 13, 2015 “Why Is It Impossible to Find a Psychiatrist?”
- Jul 6, 2015 Have Overprotective Parents Really Ruined a Generation of Kids, or Is It All Hype?
- Jun 29, 2015 When Best Friends Move Away
- Jun 22, 2015 Childhood Disorders In A Forest Gump World
- Jun 15, 2015 10 Quick Techniques to Lower Anxiety
- Jun 8, 2015 Porn at Children's Fingertips
- Jun 1, 2015 Dear Teacher, How Can I Express the Thanks You Deserve?
- May 18, 2015 The Meaningful Life
- May 11, 2015 Mom: A Performance Review
- May 4, 2015 Urgent Care for Mental Health?
- Apr 27, 2015 Dear Single Mom, You're Doing a Good Job
- Apr 20, 2015 4-20
- Apr 13, 2015 Hard Choices: When Your Teen Needs Rehab
- Apr 6, 2015 Walking Together With Mental Illness
- Mar 30, 2015 Parents: Why That ______ Worrying You Isn't So Bad
- Mar 23, 2015 10 Reasons I’m Grateful This Morning. What’s Your List?
- Mar 16, 2015 11 Reasons to Drop Everything and Go Have Fun With Your Kids
- Mar 9, 2015 Good Grief, Stop Shaming People! (and Dogs)
- Mar 2, 2015 Do We Really Listen to Our Kids?
- Feb 23, 2015 Save Your Child Years of Therapy By Doing This One Thing
- Feb 16, 2015 Saying "Get Out!" to an Adult Child
- Feb 9, 2015 13-30, The Road Toward Adulthood
- Feb 2, 2015 Don’t Consult the Doctor
- Jan 26, 2015 Why Don't My Parents Respect Me?
- Jan 19, 2015 Seeking the Opinion of a Psychiatrist?
- Jan 12, 2015 Dear Introverts, We're Sorry. -Extroverts
- Jan 5, 2015 Hey, Young People: Face Your Fears So You Can Start Your Life!
- Dec 29, 2014 Usher in the Change You Want in 2015
- Dec 22, 2014 13 Ways to Stop Being Part of the Problem This Holiday
- Dec 15, 2014 3 Types of Gifted and Talented Disorders
- Dec 8, 2014 Let’s Say No, Because We Love Our Kids Too Much To Screw Them Up
- Dec 1, 2014 What to Do If Your College Kid is Having Psych Symptoms
- Nov 24, 2014 14 Creative Ways for Family and Guests to Express Gratitude This Thanksgiving
- Nov 17, 2014 Think You're Ready for Kids to Come Home for the Holidays?
- Nov 10, 2014 Do’s and Don’ts of Empowering Emerging Adult Children
- Nov 3, 2014 I’m Sorry, The Doctor Is Not Taking New Patients At This Time: The Sad Truth About the Overloaded Mental Healthcare System
- Oct 27, 2014 Show Your Love by Taking Care of Your Health
- Oct 20, 2014 Why I Can’t Treat My Friend’s Teenage Daughter
- Oct 13, 2014 In Praise of Good Men
- Oct 6, 2014 Technology’s Influence on the Family (It’s Not All Negative)
- Sep 29, 2014 Parenting Lessons From My Dog
- Sep 22, 2014 Beat Family Burnout
- Sep 15, 2014 Youth In Recovery, Maybe You Can't Go Home Again
- Sep 8, 2014 Catch or Release: Gatekeeping in Mental Health
- Sep 1, 2014 Will Science Unlock the Secrets to Mental Disorders?
- Aug 25, 2014 Should We Send All Kids to College?
- Aug 18, 2014 15 Surefire Ways to Brighten Your Mood
- Aug 11, 2014 Responding to Crisis in the College Years
- Aug 4, 2014 College Parents: 4 Ways to Prepare Yourself
- Jul 28, 2014 Do Young Adults in Your Life Act Like Teenagers?
- Jul 21, 2014 The Most Important Talk to Have Before Your Kid Goes to College
- Jul 14, 2014 A Parent's Effect on a Child’s Love of Responsible Adulthood
- Jul 7, 2014 Prevent Your Teen From Drinking For As Long As Possible
- Jun 30, 2014 Moving Out Creates Anxiety for Introverts
- Jun 23, 2014 Wondering How to Prepare Your Teen for Adulthood?
- Jun 16, 2014 Can Emerging Adulthood Be Mistaken For Mental Illness?
- Jun 9, 2014 Stop With The Unwanted Advice!
- Jun 2, 2014 Be A Beacon of Hope For Your Loved One With Mental Illness
- May 26, 2014 Mental Illness and Mass Violence
- May 19, 2014 Defining A Parent’s Role After A Child Leaves Home
- May 12, 2014 How Families Can Re-Group After College Withdrawal
- May 5, 2014 Effectively Parenting Older Teens
- Apr 28, 2014 5 Shortcomings of Young Adult Psychiatric Care
- Apr 21, 2014 5 Things To Discuss Before Your Teen Heads Off To College
- Apr 13, 2014 Why Is Everyone "For" Or "Against" Treating Mental Disorders?
- Apr 7, 2014 Twenty-Something’s at Work: Bridging the Gap
- Mar 31, 2014 Depression Diagnosis in Teens: Is Decreasing Stigma Putting Normal Teens at Risk?
- Mar 24, 2014 Parents: First-Line Healthcare Advocates
- Mar 17, 2014 Tips for Parent’s to Instill Healthy Skills in Kids at Any Stage
- Mar 10, 2014 Armchair Personality Disorder Diagnosis Unhelpful
- Mar 3, 2014 What To Do If Your Twenty-Something Is Moving Back Home
- Feb 24, 2014 31 (More) Skills A Teen Needs Before Leaving Home
- Feb 17, 2014 My Tiger Parents Shaped Me Into A Hollow Young Adult: Evan Speaks on His Own Behalf
- Feb 10, 2014 Parental Protection: Beautiful, Or Misguided?
- Feb 3, 2014 Another Tragic Loss
- Jan 27, 2014 Are Psychiatrist’s Labeling Healthy Young Adults as Mentally Ill?
- Jan 20, 2014 Academic Ability ≠ College Success
- Jan 13, 2014 The Hazy Line from Teen to Adult
- Dec 28, 2013 Welcome